Being a keeper at home is spiritual warfare

Being a keeper at home is spiritual warfare. I do not interpret this scripture to be focused on personal finances despite many people in today’s time claiming only the rich can afford for women to stay home. The context is on what kind of behavior and lifestyle is befitting for men and women pursuing holiness. This scripture also addresses gender roles according to God’s design. This is New Testament. It is still relevant. It is still something we should seek to obey – even if it is counter-cultural.
 
Society has reached a point they are not even willing to discuss biblical gender roles or family dynamics because people have already made up their mind they are going to rebel against the Word of God. They criticize it. They attack women who desire this lifestyle. And they dismiss it – completely unwilling to discuss the matter spiritually (not just financially). Feminist ideologies have infected the church to the point that people despise God’s design if it doesn’t suit their lifestyle preferences.
 
Yet there are many of us women who see this scripture and it speaks to our hearts because God created us for this purpose and hard-wired us to fulfill this role. Women like this still exist. There are still keepers at home and many more women who desire to follow this biblical lifestyle.
 
No words are by accident in the Word of God. It doesn’t say unemployed woman or stay-at-home mom. It doesn’t say housewife or even homemaker. It says keeper at home. It actually doesn’t even specify wives. This is for all women.
 
Titus 2:1-8 (KJV)
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
 
Verse 5 says young women are “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
 
It’s important to use an accurate and literal bible translation.
 
Different translations use different terms.

• Having care of the house (Wycliffe)
• Keepers at home (KJV)
• Keepers of their own houses (Young’s)
• Workers at home (ASV, NASB, WEB)
• Working at home (ESV)
• To work in their homes (NLT)
• Homemaker (NKJV, HCSB)
• Makers of a home (AMP)
• Fulfilling their duties at home (NET)
• To be busy at home (NIV)
• Domestic (RSV)

 
This can be a little confusing when translations word it differently. Being a homemaker at heart and being a keeper at home are not the same, are they? Making a house a home isn’t the same thing as being busy (working) all the time. Domestic could surely mean a lot of things. Are we disobeying the bible if we aren’t baking enthusiasts with spotless houses? Taking care of the house makes sense when you come together as a team dividing the responsibilities of providing a home and caring for it. Is that it? Just clean the house and cook dinner? Is that falling in line with being holy and loving and chaste and good? Just make sure the dishes are done? Let’s take a look at the original languages in an interlinear bible.  
 
Word-for-word
Self-controlled pure keepers at home kind being subject to the own husbands so that not the word – of God should be maligned
 
A literal translation would be
Titus 2:4-5
So that they may train the young women to be lovers of their husbands, loving their children, self-controlled, pure, keepers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God should not be blasphemed.
 
Reference: Strong’s Greek 3626 (only used once in scripture)
 
There are two slightly different words referenced here: oikourgous and oikourous. Early manuscripts used the word oikourgous. The origin of that word is oikos (a house, a dwelling) and ergon (work). This is why some translations say “worker at home”. Other manuscripts have the Greek text using a slightly different word. They use “oikourous” which originated from the word oikos (house) and ourous (keeper, watcher, or guardian). Thus, these manuscripts were translated to say “keeper at home”. There’s only one letter difference. I won’t attempt to declare one text more accurate than the other. Either way, these words have similar meanings.
 
Strong’s exhaustive concordance defines oikourgos to mean domestically inclined stating the word is from oikos and ouros (a guard; be “ware”), a stayer at home; i.e. domestically inclined (a good housekeeper) – a keeper at home.
 
Thayer’s Greek lexicon offers 3 meanings.

1. The (watch of) or keeper of a house
2. Keeping at home and taking care of domestic affairs
3. Domestic

 
In ancient Greece, oikos referred to the family and the house and the family’s property. Keeping watch over your house was also keeping watch over your family.
 
Keeper at home….
 
What does it mean to be a keeper at home? I don’t think that’s a statement of financial privilege as many now say in these times it’s a matter of money to stay home. I don’t think it’s a statement of household finances at all. This chapter is talking about behavior and character. Holiness in lifestyle is not restricted to the financially privileged.
 
I think this is a statement of spiritual warfare.
 
It doesn’t say homemaker in the original languages. It doesn’t say bake pies and host tea parties as we may think of nostalgic 1950s housewives perfecting the domestic arts. It makes no mention of shining the windows and having perfect appearance. Nor does it say stay home when your kids are little, then go back to work. It’s not talking about making a house a home with cleanliness and nice wax melts. Cooking and cleaning and tending to the home are aspects of housework, but the most important thing you are keeping after is precious in the kingdom.
 
What does it mean to be a keeper at home? A keeper is someone who is responsible for something. A keeper is defined as a person who manages or looks after something or someone. You keep after your home. You are the keeper of your children. You are the guardian of what is allowed to have access to your children. It is the mothers who are home with their children that set the environment. It is the mothers who play worship music while she is cleaning and leads prayer before lunch. It is the mothers who are present that keep watch over what their children view on a screen. They monitor the tablets and the internet and protect their children from the harm that could come. They guard the gate keeping boundaries with conviction. They keep watch for the attacks of the enemy and know the devil is prowling to snatch away the little ones. While the husbands and fathers are away at work to provide for their family, the wives keep after the home. The husbands are the head of the household, but the mothers are the keepers of the home.
 
Women are not unused by the kingdom.
 
What mothers do in the home is kingdom work.
 
When I think about being a keeper at home, I do not think of sitting on the couch in my pajamas scrolling through my phone all day. I think of keeping my littles home under my care instead of under secular influence. I think of how staying home allows families to homeschool and keep their children from the anti-bible indoctrination of public schools. I think of the time spent with them compared to how few hours I’d get if I were working. I think about how whoever children spend their day with is the main influence in their worldview. I think about family prayer, homemade meals at the table, the chalkboard with a daily bible verse, daily bible study, praying together, raising them in an atmosphere of worship and praise. Keeping watch over them at home is keeping watch over what has access to them. The devil always wants to snatch the children. It is the parent’s job to be on guard for the ways the enemy seeks to destroy. It is the mother who stays home that has round-the-clock guardianship over their entertainment, the screens they can see, the music that will shape their thinking, the books that will tell them about the world. Being a keeper at home is to keep guard physically and spiritually over the children God has gifted parents. Nowadays it’s also keeping them safe from the increasing crime, the school shootings, the human trafficking that is everywhere now, and the predators that lurk.
 
And, yes, keeping over the home also includes keeping things functioning. Cook the meals. Do the dishes. Another pile of laundry doesn’t feel like anything glorious. Cleaning the home and making it a pleasant place for your family is endless work, but it is kingdom work. This is where you raise your family. This is where your children learn to love Jesus and serve God. You are teaching them life lessons in your simple home even if there are toys everywhere.
 
That doesn’t mean you have to make the best sourdough bread in town. While domestic skills are necessary life skills and many homemakers need to be frugal to be able to have this lifestyle, let us not confuse the spiritual need for keepers at home with the Instagram-glorified domestic influencers (don’t get me wrong, I admire them too). No woman can excel at every domestic skill. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. This is primarily a spiritual role, not a baking competition. This role has a purpose with eternal value.
 
I am reminded of the gatekeepers in 1 Chronicles chapter 9:17-34. They would guard the gate and tend to the house of God. It was their job to guard the entrance and keep out anyone or anything unclean. They were stationed as gatekeepers. Verse 27 says they spent the night around the house of God because the watch was committed to them and they were in charge of opening it morning after morning. The bible even mentions here that they had charge of the utensils, the furniture, the flour. Some prepared the bread. Some were over that which was baked in pans. This was kingdom work. They were serving the house of God doing these things. It may not be a glorious position, but it is an essential position. What would happen to the house of God if no one guarded the gate? It would be defiled.
 
1 Timothy 5:14 (NASB 1995)
Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;
 
There is also plenty to be said for keeping house without children in the home too. There is value in serving your husband instead of serving an employer. Spare time can always be used for kingdom work by serving the church or serving others in need. For countless years, it was the women who would check on the elderly and bring a meal to the sick or help a neighbor. The homemaker is the backbone of society. When you remove women from the home and they are no longer able to serve others, those in need must rely on (and pay for) companies to do what families and church ladies used to.
 
What would happen to your home if no one kept it? The simple things undone cause disorder and steal peace.
 
We can see quite clearly what has happened to an entire generation of children left to the keep of institutions to be raised by daycare all day and public school until they are an adult. Schools are highly politicized nowadays and lean so far left these kids can’t think straight. The rainbow flags fill the classroom even in elementary school, children being taught to approve of and celebrate sin. Teachers with different values are raising children born to Christian parents, and we wonder why the younger generation is losing their parent’s convictions. Their parents didn’t raise them for most of the hours in the day.
 
Look at what has happened in families since feminism lured women out of their homes and into the workforce.

• Marriages are broken.
• Nearly half of marriages end in divorce.
• Overall, 69% of divorces are initiated by women. Interestingly, among couples with degrees, college-educated women initiate divorce 90% of the time.
• Many couples choose not to marry at all. 40% of births are to unmarried mothers. In some states, it’s over 50%. Unmarried women are more likely to be on welfare. Ultimately, this affects our healthcare system when labor and delivery units are not being reimbursed well from state insurance leading to many units closing. The domino effect there is closing maternity units leads to worse outcomes for pregnant and birthing women as well as their babies.
• Men abandon their wives and their children more than ever before.
• Approximately, 1 in 4 children do not have a father in the home.
• Over 18 million children do not have a biological father, adoptive father, or stepfather in the home.
• These children living without an involved father are twice as likely to die in infancy, more likely to be abused, more likely to use drugs and alcohol, 7x more likely to get pregnant as a teenager, 2x as likely to drop out, more likely to commit crime, more likely to go to prison, and are 4x more likely to live in poverty.
• Not to mention these single mothers often need to work multiple jobs and long hours. The less time they can spend with their children is the less influence they have over their faith and values.
• Gender roles are stressed and twisted. Many women struggle being in relationships with men who expect them to work outside the home (often the same number of hours they do) but the men don’t split the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning equally the way they do finances. It puts the weight on the woman to be the breadwinner and the housekeeper.
• As there are fewer and fewer masculine men who desire traditional gender roles, women lose interest in marriage.  

 
Everything falls out of balance when Mom has to do Dad’s role too. One person can only do so much.  
 
While many mothers long to stay home with their children, it is necessary to point out that you can’t do it alone. It takes a marriage for a woman to be able to be a keeper at home. And it takes a man willing to step up to the responsibility.
 
In the 1950s over 80% of mothers stayed home. By the late 1960s, that had dropped to just under half of moms. It continuously dropped reaching 23% in 1999. Now we are seeing a turn around. Around 25% of mothers are now staying home with their children.
 
A 2019 Gallop study found that only 39% of women prefer a homemaker role while 23% of men prefer homemaking (for themselves) over working outside the home. Women with a college degree are more likely to prefer working.
 
If a mother financially must leave her children to make money elsewhere, she is tasked with finding childcare that aligns with her Christian values. Sometimes it takes a village, but it is a shame when women have to do it all. We are designed to be inter-dependent.
 
What about families that can’t afford it?
That’s absolutely valid. It is getting harder and harder to survive on one income. It used to be a man could support a large family on his own from one job. When more and more women went into the workforce, the economy adapted to a two-income household. Then marriages fell apart and single-parent poverty became a plague. There is no easy solution. Following the world’s ways of chasing money will only make it harder for women to stay home with their littles. The world’s solution is to eliminate the children. Have abortions. Go on birth control. Choose smaller family sizes for financial reasons. Choose to be “child-free”. For most households, choosing biblical gender roles means genuine financial struggle. It takes sacrifice to make it work. Godly women must choose a man who is in alignment with following this lifestyle even when it’s hard. And the women who stay home often must be frugal and self-sufficient. The bible is not against women working from home or having an income. Proverbs 31 makes it clear that women often worked with their hands to create things (at home) they could sell. That didn’t require them to leave their homes for a 9 to 5. Our priorities must be in order. It is the husband’s job to provide. It is the wife’s job to tend to the work of the home. He is the head of the household; she is the keeper of the home. Both must manage money very well to make it work in today’s economy that begs for a two-income household to maintain a culturally expected standard of possessions.
 
What happens spiritually when the biblical (traditional) family unit falls apart?
When men stop going to church with their families, their wife and children are far less likely to stay in church. As we’ve surely all seen, once daddy is gone many children stop coming. There are always exceptions and people who stay in church despite the odds, but realistically the father leads the family in church attendance for the majority of families. Women are more likely to work in career fields such as retail or restaurants that require them to work on Sundays thus making them unable to attend church. Many single mothers work multiple jobs and are simply unable to schedule in church as well.  
 
The demise of the biblical family unit as God designed it is one of the greatest threats to the continuation of the church. Each generation goes to church less and less. Without children in church, the older generation passes away and there aren’t enough young families to fill the pews. Without families in church, eventually churches don’t have enough tithing members to keep the doors open.
 
Tragically, most churches no longer teach biblical gender roles or family structure at all because it has become so controversial. If you want revival, you have to bring back and strengthen the family unit.  
 
What does the devil want for the family?
He wants destruction. The enemy’s goal is to get the family out of church and away from God. He wants to keep you distracted and too busy for the bible study you wish you had time for and the prayer life you need. The devil is always prowling and he seeks to destroy marriages and the family unit so he can snatch the children. If he can’t rip apart your marriage, he’ll surely exhaust many women in their pursuit of work/family balance while they chase after money and still try to be a homemaker.
 
Society is training women for college and career with focus on money and material items. Meanwhile, God’s design for marriage and family is increasingly criticized and abandoned. Even in conservative churches, many women choose the way of the world following their careers instead of staying home to take care of their family. Few churches teach their congregation to follow biblical gender roles and let the wife be a keeper at home when financially possible.
 
What does God want for the family?
God wants a family that serves Him and glorifies Him. He wants holy people set apart from the world who live righteously despite being surrounded by promiscuity and all kinds of sexual sin. He wants purity for his people. He designed the family unit as a system with a purpose. He wants obedience to his design. Gender is his creation. Gender roles is his structure. God wants men that lead and women that submit to that godly leadership. Children are a blessing. Guard the young ones spiritually. Will you strive to follow that design?
 
What happens if the gatekeeper leaves the family unguarded?
The enemy is at the gate.
 
Keep your home – the whole house. Keep after your children. Keep after your marriage needs. Keep after your territory. Guard what God has given you.