Stress management

How you manage stress can either give you chaos or peace. We all have stress on varying levels. Some people are naturally calm and handle stress well. Others…. not so much. I’m definitely someone who doesn’t naturally manage stress well. I have anxiety and I’m often stressed out. I’ve had to learn a lot of techniques to improve my stress level. Even after learning my options, it still takes practice to develop these stress management techniques into strong skills. The biggest key to healthy stress management that I have found is you have to actually practice the methods that work for you. Knowing different ways you can handle stress in a healthy way is great, but it’s useless if you don’t apply it to your situation. That’s like having the medicine in the cabinet, but not applying it to your wound. It’s not going to help if you don’t use it.
 
I’m not going to get into the unhealthy ways to cope with stress. We all know alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, eating your feelings, sleeping around, and bandaiding your problems with materials items are unhealthy and harmful ways to manage stress. There’s plenty of info out there on the physical and mental damage stress can do. So, I want to talk about 3 different areas of stress management – coping, resolving, and preventing. Try out different things. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
 
Coping – how to manage the stressor once it’s already stressing you out

• If you can, get away from the stressor for a little bit. It’s okay to take a time out.  
• Deep breathing. I’ve found that this takes more than 2 seconds. If you actually sit down and take 5 minutes to do deep breathing, it can calm anybody down.  
• Meditation
• Yoga. Really it’s the stretching that seems to relieve stress. Don’t feel bad if you can’t twist like a pretzel and not look like a hot mess.
• Exercise – Don’t hate me for saying that. Everybody recommends exercise for stress relief. Here’s the thing. It actually helps a lot. You don’t have to go all out and get buff. Just go for a walk!
• Relax your muscles
• Release the tension in your jaw with neck exercises. This is good to do before you go to bed if your stress gives you insomnia.  
• Massage. If you can afford to go get a massage or talk your partner into giving you a massage, that’ll take away anybody’s stress.
• Hugs. Maybe that sounds corny, but hugs release oxytocin. Do you have a partner or a friend that will give you a big, long, bear hug?
• Sex is by far one of the best stress relievers ever. I'm just keeping it real here, okay? 
• Get some sleep. Sometimes all you need to de-stress is a nap.
• Have a hot beverage – hot chocolate, tea, coffee  
• Journaling is very therapeutic. What I do is use a dry erase board. Write it down. Get it out. Erase it. Feel better for saying it. Move on with your day.
• Art – coloring, drawing, or painting. Adult coloring books are a thing now.  
• Doing crafts can be calming. The repetitive motions of crochet calm me down.
• Humor – laughter is the spice of life.
• Music  
• Nature
• Visualize something that calms you down
• Aromatherapy  
• Soft lighting is calming. Turn off the bright lights.
• Light candles
• Unplug the screens
• Take a hot shower or a bubble bath.
• Pet therapy – spending time with animals is calming
• For extroverts, spend some time with friends doing what you enjoy.
• For introverts, make sure you get some alone time to recharge.
• Some people feel less stressed when they clean. If your messy house is stressing you out, clean and declutter. Scrub something. When I get really mad, I go scrub my tub. It makes me feel better.
• Cooking can be calming for some people.

 
Resolving – how to work through it, fix the problems, and diffuse the stress

• Problem solving – The more you avoid the problem that’s stressing you out the more it’s not going to get solved. Face it. Fix it. Moving on.  
• Time management can be a component of stress management. If your schedule is too full, you’ll be drowning in stress. Make adjustments as needed.
• Money management – I think we could all agree that money problems are a big source of stress. Get it under control.
• Choose peace
• Deal with toxic thoughts – guilt, blame, should have done this or that, magnifying the problem to be bigger than it really is, beating yourself up for not being perfect
• Acceptance. Accept your best efforts. Accept the situation for what it is.  
• Forgiveness. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.  
• Prayer
• Faith
• Information seeking – learn about the topic that is stressing you out. If you’re worrying about something, understanding the issue better can take away some of that fear of the unknown.  
• Social support
• Be selective in who you spend time with. Boundaries are a good thing. If the people in your life are stressing you out, make adjustments to how often you speak to them. 
• Self-care!!!
• Clear your plate. Remove what stressors you can.
• Find balance between the stress you can’t remove and doing things to take care of yourself. If your life was a bowl and stress was being poured in, you can scoop some of it out. Other things are going to stay in there. What can you add to this metaphorical bowl that would dilute the stressful components? Add in things you love to this bowl of life. Add in friendships, happiness, fun times, bonfires, good books, and things that bring you joy. Seek balance. Don’t let the stressful stuff be the only thing on the menu.

 
Preventing – modifying our reaction to stressors
I love the quote “It’s not about how bad the storm is around you. It’s about not letting the storm get inside you.”

• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Behavior modification where needed
• Self-efficacy
• Social support
• Good nutrition. Well, I say nutrition because it's healthy. You do feel better when you eat better. What I really mean though is don't let yourself get hangry. 
• Say no and mean it. Don’t add things to your agenda that don’t need to be there if you don’t want to.
• You decide what is worth stressing about and what isn’t worth it. In the end, it’s not the stressors that cause you problems. It’s the way you handle them.