 For years I prayed God would take the sinful desire from me as I had one hand lifted towards heaven and another hand clenched holding on to my bisexual identity. I didn’t know how to lay it down. I didn’t know how to let go. I didn’t know I needed to surrender.
In December of 2019 Jesus broke my chains and delivered me from my bondage. After nearly 20 years of being bisexual and that foundation being laid firm long before I became a Christian in 2005, it was an adjustment to learn my new identity. I “came out” as delivered in a blog a few weeks later in January of 2020. You can find that blog here. Over the last two years I’ve realized a few things in hindsight that I can see clearly now. I’d like to share those things with you. Most days it seems so far away now. I’ve moved on with my life. From time to time, I see or hear something that reminds me of my former struggles. I don’t want to forget what God has brought me out of or the clarity that he’s given me. If you are seeking answers on this topic or trying to navigate your own path, I hope something here offers you a lantern in the darkness. These things may seem simple, but I lost sight of the basics when I was caught up in confusion. Everything became so foggy. When a matter confuses us, we need to go back to basics sometimes and check our foundation. Same-sex attraction is a normal desire of the flesh. It’s not uncommon. It’s no different than the desire for fulfilling heterosexual attraction outside of marriage. God designed sex to be within marriage. Fornication is sin. Adultery is sin. Let’s not stigmatize people who are same-sex attracted like their sin is far worse than the rest. It’s not. We should talk openly about it in the same way we teach unmarried people to refrain from fulfilling sexual desires outside of marriage. Sin ensnares. It takes you further than you thought you’d go. It pulls you away from God. It makes you question who you are and where you belong. It chains you and drags you. It takes you down a path so far from who you were that you don’t recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. The deception is that it feels like freedom at first. It feels liberating to give in. You think you’re free from the battle because you’ve given up the good fight. It is not freedom. It is a surrender to captivity. It is to become owned by what destroys your soul (even if it satisfies for flesh for a season). What you feed will grow. Feed the spirit and you will grow. Feed the sin and it will grow. I’m not saying denial and self-discipline will take away the desire completely. I’m saying if you feed it then it will grow. If you are listening to LGBT affirming music, those thoughts will be in your head. If you are feeding your mind with LGBT matters, it will always be on your mind. If you embrace it, it’ll wrap itself around you. If you claim it, it’ll claim you. When you claim it as your identity, you give it residence. You label it “this is me” you are labeling it a part of you. You welcome its stay. When you are identifying with sin, you’ve lost sight of your identity in Christ. Isolation is the devil’s way of keeping people in bondage. Keeping this struggle to yourself is a surefire way to block yourself from the power of praying friends and fellowship with those who will encourage you to stay the path of following Jesus. Bondage blurs your vision. You can’t see things straight when you’re caught up in something that is destroying you. You can study the scripture and it becomes unclear. You become unsure of things you were once solid on. You question your very identity. You question your faith. You question God. You wonder if he even wants you anymore. You are not outcast from Christ. Churches and Christians may outcast and stigmatize, but Jesus doesn’t trash people. He still wants you. He still loves you. Read that again. Denying the sinful desires of the flesh is part of walking the faith. The bible says other sins are committed outside the body but sexual sin is against your own body (1 Cor. 6:18). That verse is followed by a reminder that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you were bought with a price so glorify God with your body. Maybe that’s why this area is such a hard area to discipline ourselves. We’re not hurting other people or sinning against other people with this. We’re hurting ourselves. It is a normal human desire to crave intimacy with others. We were designed for connection. It is always a great discipline to deny oneself the fulfilling of sexual desires outside of marriage. Holiness is still an instruction we must all obey. God doesn’t call us to be straight; he calls us to be holy. Choosing to walk with Jesus is choosing to obey his ways. Same-sex attraction is not sin; living out the desire is. Identifying with sin is sinful in itself. What is the nature of sin? It destroys. It crumbles. It decays. It pulls us away from Jesus. If anything is causing a wedge to be driven between you and your walk with God, don’t chase after that thing. Chase after Jesus. Walk with him. Choose His ways no matter how you feel. As long as we are on this earth, we will have to battle our fleshly desires for sin in one way or another. Don’t get so focused on your desire for sin that you lose focus on the fact that you choose to refrain from indulging in any and all sin for the sake of the faith. Deliverance from bondage is real and powerful and available to those who will surrender to Jesus. Yes, it’s real. I am genuinely no longer attracted to women. I am genuinely attracted to men now. I am a changed person. Jesus still transforms lives. He still heals. He still overcomes. He still breaks the chains. He still releases people from bondage. He still sets the captive free. If this sin has ensnared you whether that be in desire alone or being caught up in living out the desire, seek deliverance. There is freedom. You may think you have to spend the rest of your life suffering with denying the desires of the flesh. For some, that is what we do as Christians for the sake of following Christ. For some, the desires remain and we have to choose not to live it out or identify with it or feed our minds with it. I want to validate those who have that thorn in their side yet carry on walking the path of holiness. I see your struggle and I see your faith. Well done, servant. You have chosen the greater path. And I want you to know that there are those of us who have come out of that struggle and been set free. Don’t ever stop seeking deliverance. More importantly, don’t ever stop chasing holiness. You are His. Let nothing else claim you. When anything tries to pull you away from God, follow Him all the more. …And then…..there is the crossroads….. What will you do with these thoughts? For me, I chose to follow Jesus. I chose to rededicate my life to Him in all areas including the areas that broke me. I made the decision to go back to walking in His ways. For the first time, I surrendered my bisexual identity. I laid down the label. I let go of the “this is me” and fixed my eyes on righteousness. It wasn’t many days after that he gave me the kindness of deliverance. I realize not everyone receives that instant breakthrough. I know not all Christians who battle this get to fully break free. For some, the struggle remains. For others, they lose the attraction but find it comes back around to consume. Will you follow the flesh or follow the faith? It’s your decision to make…but you have to make the decision. In the same way we decide every day how we will live, we must decide every day to seek purity. If you stumble as all Christians do, get back on the path. What will you do? How will you live? It’s not about how you feel. It’s about how you live. Pursue holiness. Live for the Lord.
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 Prayer precedes revival.
What do you think of when you hear the word revival? Maybe large gatherings cross your mind, a lot of visitors at church, a special event, a guest preacher that travels the country. Maybe you think of revival sweeping the nation and our country turning to the Lord. Do you ever think about your own revival? The definition of revival is
The word REVIVE is a verb. A verb is an action word. To revive something means to regain life or consciousness or strength, give new strength or energy to, or improve the condition of. Some synonyms: resuscitate, reinvigorate, revitalize, refresh, bring back, bring to life, recover, rescue, enliven, breathe new life into How many of you need revival in your spiritual life? How many of us need to find the fire again? How many of us hunger for the chain-breaking, life-changing kind of breakthrough worship and prayer, but we can’t seem to press into His presence like we used to? Our prayer life feels a bit dry. We’ve been busy. We’ve been stressed. We’ve been distracted. Maybe we’ve been depressed, empty, tired deep down in our spirits. How’s your prayer life? How’s your bible study been lately? How’s your time with the Lord each week? Prayer precedes revival. Prayer precedes restoration. Prayer precedes deliverance. Prayer precedes chains being broken. Prayer precedes breakthrough. Prayer precedes the healing. If you’ve been numb and emptied and tired for a while, you may not feel much when you pray. You may feel like you can’t pray. You can’t get a hold of God like you used to. You don’t feel his presence like you did before. Pray anyway. Pray again. Pray habitually. And eventually things will start to change. Your mindset will change. Your eyes will be fixed on what they should be. You may be in the desert right now, but I know a God that can give living water even in the desert. Surround yourself with people that know how to pray. Surround yourself in an atmosphere of worship even if you don’t feel anything right now. Go to church. Go to bible study. Get in the prayer room. Even if you just sit there and can’t find the words to say, get in the atmosphere. Jesus is in the room. Pray anyway. If you need revival… If you need restoration… If you need healing… If you need direction… If you need answers… If you need deliverance… If you need to feel the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit… If you need to feel alive again… If you need to get in the presence of Jesus and feel Him move in your life… Pray. Prayer precedes revival.  Potlucks, family get-togethers, and holidays are a time of warmth, laughter, memories, and…. good food. What do you do if your budget is pennies to spare? Y’all can’t afford to eat out. You can’t afford to buy something. Groceries are increasingly expensive. Do you skip the gathering? Not host this time? Or do you think about what tasty homemade meals you can whip up without having to empty your wallet? Here are some ideas for low-budget meals with the large family gathering in mind. Make sure you get your copy of my book, Happily Frugal. It has over 1,000 ways to save money including over 100 ways to save on food. If this topic is something you need, there is a chapter on feeding a family frugally. BEVERAGES So, what about drinks? Buying juice or soda for a big group is a bit pricey.
BREAKFAST Is your crew staying over? Breakfast is the cheapest meal of the day.
LUNCH OR DINNER Need to cook for a crowd, but not spend much? Tips:
These are super cheap meals that will feed a large group.
Side dishes
DESSERT
Whether you’re getting ready for the holidays when finances have been tough this year or you’ve been blessed with many children and have a lot of mouths to feed every day, I hope this blog helps you get more food with the money you have. Don’t forget to grab your print copy of Happily Frugal. This is taken from the book, Happily Frugal. In chapter 12, I teach about feeding a family frugally. Check out that book here and get your copy today. Here is a list of low budget foods. Take what you like and make a monthly menu for your household. BEVERAGES
BREAKFAST
SNACKS
LUNCH (higher carb meals) Casseroles, sandwiches, subs, pizza, pasta
DINNER (lower carb meals) Salads, soups, stews, chili, stir fry, tacos, burritos, fajitas, wraps, chicken, fish
SIDE DISHES
DESSERT
What are some low-cost meals you have in your family? Comment below.
 Be rooted. Be guarded. Be disciplined. Battle. Have you ever wondered how to actually go about battling something spiritually? We’ve all heard people talk about being in battle or having something they struggle with that they’re trying to overcome. A battle is more than a struggle. A battle is a strategy to be victorious over the enemy. Part of spiritual battle is preventing attack. If you’re standing in enemy territory, you are easily open to the attacks of the enemy. Live right. Get yourself rooted in Christ and the church. Guard against things that can destroy you or seek to drag you down. Maintain your spiritual discipline. Do these things and you can prevent a lot of spiritual problems just by paying attention to where you’re standing. The devil is always prowling. We don’t ever get to a point that he stops trying to bring us down, but we can get to a point that we battle so well that we walk in victory. Be rooted. Know truth. If you don’t know truth from falsehood, you’re going to be fighting in a fog with no solid sense of direction. Read your bible. Psalm 119:105 (NASB) Be consuming the Word of God. How often are you reading your bible? Has it been a couple of weeks or even a couple of months? This is your spiritual nutrition. Are you well-nourished in your bible study? Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NASB) Pray. How often are you talking to God? Daily? Only when you need something? Like any relationship, no communication isn’t much of a relationship. Are you spending time with the Lord? Are you listening? Do you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you? Can you find a moment? If you’re too busy to pray, you’re too busy. Reorder your priorities. Even if your prayer time in the morning is turning off your radio on your drive to work and using that time to talk to God, you can make time for Jesus. Have a routine if you need to. In the moment that you’re struggling, you need to step aside from everything and start praying. Colossians 4:2 (NASB) Attend and connect to a truth preaching church. Going to church is necessary for spiritual maintenance. It nourishes us. It grows us. It guides us. And we need the fellowship. Hebrews 10:25 (KJV) Have ministers in your life. We all need people to guide us and teach us and pour wisdom into us. You need to have a pastor you can talk to. You need to find preachers that speak truth and life to your spirit. You need people that can show you the way. Ephesians 4:11-15 (NIV) Be of sound mind. Your mindset determines what and how you think. What kind of thoughts rule your mind? Is it fear? It is worry? Anxiety? Depression? Despair? Or is it trust, faith, victory, praise? 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) Our thoughts need to be rooted in the things of Christ and his church. Train your mind to think on the things of God and speak faith. What are you focused on? It is natural to worry and fear and be negative. We have to train ourselves to think with faith. We have to redirect our thoughts to be focused on the things of God. Speaking faith is a habit that must be practiced. Philippians 4:8 (KJV) Listen to testimonies. Know what God can do. Sometimes we overcome battles because we know if he did it for them he can do it for us too. If you have a testimony, share it because somebody out there needs it. Revelation 12:11 (NASB) We need fellowship. Our friendships in the church and with our brothers and sisters in Christ can hold us afloat when we are struggling. Acts 2:42 (LSB) Be guarded. Know that the devil is prowling around like a predator looking for who he can devour. You are not exempt from temptation. Know that these temptations will come and we have a way to overcome. 1 Peter 5:8-9 (NIV) Know what is sin. It is important that you’re paying attention when the bible calls something a sin and it is important that you choose a church that isn’t afraid to preach what is right and what is wrong. 2 Timothy 2:19 (NIV) Also know your own weaknesses. We all have things that are a problem area for us. Be especially guarded against your own weaknesses. Use the scriptures on that topic as tools to keep your mind on the right track. Write down the verses that help you resist the temptation and stay strong in your conviction. Psalm 119:133 (NIV) Know what pulls you away. Addictions of all kinds are spiritually destructive. Idols pull you away from God. Maybe it’s simply being too tired to go to church. Maybe it’s a hurt. We each have our things that we know pull us away from God. What is that for you? 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) Know what is righteousness. Are you striving to live like Jesus? Are you striving to live in a holy manner? Romans 6:11-23 (NIV) Watch where you step. Don’t tempt yourself. Guard your thoughts against the temptations of the flesh. Stay away from the things of darkness. Romans 13:12-14 (NASB) Be diligent in filtering your entertainment. What you feed your mind with is powerful. Be very careful with the entertainment you consume. The media industry is highly influential over thoughts and lifestyles. Social media can be great, but it can also be unhealthy. If it’s a sin to do, it’s a sin to entertain yourself with it. Turn off that television. Go through what you subscribe to on social media. What are you feeding your mind with what you view? 2 Peter 1:3-6 (KJV) Guard your heart. Be diligent in guarding what your heart desires after. Proverbs 4:23 (NET) Be connected to believers that will cover you in prayer. It is a powerful thing when brothers and sisters in Christ lift each other up in prayer. We can battle for each other too in intercessory prayer. A friend that prays for you is a good friend. Galatians 6:1-2 (NIV) Put on the full armor of God. This allows us to stand against the attacks of the enemy. Ephesians 6:10-18 (NASB) Be disciplined. Resist sin. You can’t overcome sin if you invite it in. Self-discipline is a big part of walking the narrow path. Refuse to indulge in what is destructive to your soul. 1 Thessalonians 5:22-24 (NIV) Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Do not let your mind linger in temptation. Thoughts become actions. You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair. You don’t have to linger in thoughts of temptation. Learn how to discipline your thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NASB) Repent regularly. Repentance is a necessary cleansing. None of us are perfect. If you refuse to let go of and turn from what you are battling to overcome, it will consume you. 1 John 1:8-10 (NIV) Surrender the sinful desires of the flesh at the foot of the cross. Lay it down. If you’re hanging onto something that’s destroying your spirit, you’re going to stay in that battle because you’re gripping the poison that slays you. 1 Peter 1:14-16 (NASB) Have your mind made up to live for the Lord. That means denying the sinful desires of the flesh. That means sacrificing what is pleasurable for a season if it’s harmful to you spiritually. That means boundaries and keeping yourself on the track of righteousness. Romans 8:5-9 (NASB) Surround yourself with people who keep you on the path of living for Jesus. Go to church. Fellowship with other believers. Iron sharpens iron. Be a student. Be a mentor. Be at the prayer meetings. If you have people you’ve been spending time with or talking to that are negatively impacting you spiritually, consider pruning your social circle if you need to. And if you’re tempted to fill your time with sin that decays, instead spend that time serving others and plant seeds to grow the kingdom. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV) Be steadfast in your firm foundation. Stay rooted. We plant our feet on solid ground. Our faith should not be unsteady or easily swayed. We need to be firm in the foundation of our faith. Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV) Remember you are called to be set apart. We are God’s holy people. We are called to live holy. Discipline yourself to maintain your separateness from the world of sin. 2 Corinthians 6:17 (NASB) Live a lifestyle of holiness. We are called to live holy. Leviticus 20:26 (WEB) Train/exercise yourself for godliness. The more you exercise the more strength you build up. Train for this lifestyle. 1 Timothy 4:7-8 (ASV) Refrain from complaining, murmuring, and grumbling. Faith is not a negative mindset. When we open our mouths to speak doubt, we are not speaking faith. It is an act of discipline to bridle our tongues and not start complaining because God hasn’t done what we want him to. Philippians 2:14-15 (KJV) An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving will help train your mind. Sometimes it takes effort to find something to be grateful for in a hard situation. This is a mindset that we build up. Practice being thankful and you will find yourself being thankful in your way of thinking. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (WEB) Worship consistently. The more we worship the more we fix our eyes on truth and righteousness. We drown out the sound of the enemy when we lift our voices to worship Jesus. Worship breaks chains. Worship overcomes. Worship leads to victory. Worship God and he will move in your situation. Acts 16:25-26 (ASV) Fast. Fasting is not optional. It is expected. It is needed. Matthew 17:21 (KJV) Abstain from distractions and dedicate time for God. We get so busy. We get distracted every few minutes from whatever we’re trying to do. We have our cell phones in our hand and a to-do list a mile long. Even when we intend to do bible study or have prayer time or look into that topic that’s been weighing on our mind, we get distracted. We need to be intentional with making time for God. Block off time for your spiritual wellbeing. Luke 21:34 (NASB) Submit yourself to God. We yield to God’s will. Not our will, but his. James 4:7 (KJV) Battle. What are we supposed to do when the fire gets hot? When it really feels like the enemy is winning, the devil is holding you in bondage, your mind is tormented, sin decays you, temptation consumes you, the fiery darts are coming against you… how do we actually go about battling? Address your sin and repent of it. If you’re not repenting, don’t expect the Lord to fix your problems. You’re hanging on to sin and it’s going to keep destroying you. Surrender your sinful desires. You need to be willing to lay it down. What do you want to follow after? You can’t follow Jesus and sin at the same time. The Lord will give you strength. He is our source of strength. Pray on it, over it, and through it. You should be praying about it often. What are you battling? Are you talking to God about it? Examine any areas that are welcoming in sin, temptation, or the attacks of the enemy. Let’s say you find yourself thinking lustfully when you usually don’t have that problem. What has changed? Are you watching something on television or the internet that is leading your mind that way? Are you listening to music that has your mind fixated on that? Look at your entertainment. Look at what influences you. It could be a good friend who is genuinely a good person but doesn’t share your faith values. Go through your entertainment and social media for a spiritual check on what you are consuming and subscribing to. From time to time, we should go through our Facebook pages and groups to see if this is something we should be following. Many pages change their content over the years. Even religious pages can lead people astray. We should spiritually check what we follow on Instagram, YouTube, and other platforms. Sometimes it is best if we delete an account. Be intentional about subscribing to more content that edifies our walk with God and helps us stay focused on our faith as we scroll through social media. We can also be intentional about following more that points us to Jesus. There are plenty of great pages/accounts out there that put out worship music, bible studies, religious lessons, images of scripture, and things to encourage us to follow Jesus. If you’re on social media a lot, consider adding this kind of content to your newsfeed after you eliminate the content that can pull you away. Do a maintenance check on your spiritual well-being. How’s your walk with the Lord going? How is your prayer life? How is your bible study time? How is church going? Are you going? Are you regularly attending a good church? What are your strong points? What are your weak areas? Worship your way through the battle. This makes more of a difference than you may realize. Keep living for God. Show up to church. Actually sing. Worship during the service. Worship at home. Listen to worship music often. Go up to the altar. Stay dedicated. Cry out to Him. Read your bible more. The more you struggle spiritually, the more you should open your bible. Are you reading daily? If you’re not consuming the word of God, you make an easy target for the enemy to lure you away or mess with your mind. Set a routine to have time in the bible. Follow a schedule. I’ve done a schedule to read the New Testament in 40 days a few times when I feel like I’m in a spiritual desert. It always makes a difference. Take time to nourish your spirit with bible study. Go to church more. We have a tendency to not want to go to church when we are struggling. That may be because of judgment. It may be because we are overwhelmed. It may be depression or anxiety. We need to push through and show up anyway. Go to prayer meetings more. If you’re struggling, try going to a prayer meeting. Praise God. Your words make a difference. Your mindset is half the battle. Refuse to speak against God. Refuse to say that God isn’t going to help you or isn’t going to fix the problem in time. Get up and praise Him. Thank him for what he’s doing even when you can’t see it. Give him the glory. Speak faith. Speak victory. We may not always feel excited or optimistic, but faith is not based in feelings. Praise his name. Call on Jesus. Speak his name. Call out to him. He hears you. The Lord will fight for you. Know your authority in the name of Jesus. There is power in the name of Jesus. We do have authority spiritually. Tear down strongholds in the name of Jesus. Speak to your mountain. In Mark 11:22-23 Jesus says if we have faith we can speak to a mountain and it will be taken up and cast into the sea. In Matthew 17:20 it says if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can tell a mountain to move from here to there. However, if you don’t have enough faith you can’t move mountains. Face what you’re up against and speak to that mountain with faith! Rebuke spirits and the attacks of the enemy. If you haven’t learned how to rebuke things, you’re going to suffer with things you can cast off. Rebuke that spirit of depression. Rebuke anxiety! Rebuke that sickness. Rebuke that attack. Have Spirit-filled people pray with you. Oftentimes, we isolate when we struggle. We don’t want to tell people who will gossip or look down on us for struggling. We don’t want to admit we aren’t always walking on the mountaintop. Find a few friends who will pray with you. Carry on. You need to be determined to carry on in the faith no matter what. Keep living for Jesus no matter what. Keep walking the walk no matter what. Even if the prayer requests don’t get answered…. Even if you/they aren’t healed… Even if destruction comes…. Even if everything falls apart… Even if you don’t have the gas money to get to church… Even if you suffer… carry on.
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