Anxiety Management

This is such a hard blog to write because there is no easy way to explain the struggle of anxiety. I’ve had anxiety since childhood. I’m 28 and anxiety is very much a controlling part of my life. The first thing I want to say to you is it’s okay to not be okay. That is the number one thing I wish people would say to me when I’m struggling. It’s okay to not be okay. It drives me crazy when you admit that you’re having a hard time, seek out friends to talk to, and they respond with statements like “You’re okay”, “You’ve got this!”, “You’re doing great.”, “It’s not bad. It’s going good.” Etc… I know they intend to be encouraging, but all that really does is shut me down. If I say I’m not okay right now, don’t tell me I am okay because you can’t handle having a deep talk about it. So for anyone who struggles with anxiety or depression, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
 
That doesn’t mean that you’re not a positive person. Struggling doesn’t make you negative or ungrateful. It makes you human. I feel like there’s a lot of guilt around anxiety. Don’t feel bad about what you’re struggling with. It’s a very legitimate problem that millions of us are affected by. If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you know the feeling. Anxiety – nonstop worry, sleepless nights, never being able to turn your thoughts off, sick stomach, throwing up, panic, fears, trouble breathing, migraines, another bottle of Tums gone, the anxiety controlling your day, the anxiety consuming you to the point of feeling like there is no escape. Then, on top of all that, feeling bad that you struggle with all this because you’re supposed to do better than this in life. Stop feeling bad about feeling bad! Accepting that you are having anxiety and acknowledging it, at least to yourself, is a big step in managing it. I want to share some ways that help me with anxiety. I hope this is helpful to you.

• Write down the things that cause you anxiety.
• Acknowledge your anxiety.
• Accept that this is something you struggle with. Shift your perspective from weakness to warrior. You are fighting a battle inside of you. Yet you keep on keeping on. That makes you a strong person.
• Think the “What if?” through. Some things I get anxiety about I follow it through and see that it’s really nothing to worry about. Other things I do worry about, but I can come up with a game plan of what to do if that happens. That helps me regain control.
• Preparedness – if you have anxiety about a certain thing that you can prepare for, get prepared and gain control.
• Address what is giving you anxiety. If you’re freaking out in the middle of the night because you didn’t get the dishes done, go finish the dishes. If it’s a problem you can easily solve, tackle it. Survive it. Enjoy the rest of your day.
• Face your fears. If you’re having anxiety because you’re afraid to fail that test, acknowledge that you might fail. Study. Prepare. Do what you can to prevent the fear from happening. Accept your best efforts and love yourself anyway.
• Tell yourself you are in control. List the things you have control over.
• Practice positive affirmations.
• Whose approval do you need? If you’re worrying about what others think of you or what you’re doing, the number one person you need approval from is YOU. If you approve, carry on.
• Take breaks when you get overwhelmed. You’ll get more done once you’ve calmed down, anyway.
• If you need alone time, then say so. Even if it’s only one hour, take time for you.
• Take deep breaths.
• Declare quiet time.
• Find your calmness. Identify the things that calm you down. Schedule that in your week.
• Reading paper books is calming.
• Soft lighting calms me down. If I’m having anxiety, I want the bright lights off. Dimmer lighting is best. Colored lighting soothes me. I’m not opposed to having my Christmas lights up year round. If it calms me down and makes me happy, I don’t need approval from others. There’s something about fiber optic lights that always calms my anxiety.
• Take a hot shower or bubble bath.
• Get some sleep. The less I sleep the worse my anxiety gets. My coping skills go way downhill the more tired I am.
• Go for a walk.
• Exercise. Simple exercises like stretching, jumping, the treadmill, a stationary bike, something with repetitive motions that I can do jittery during an anxiety attack is good exercise for anxiety.
• Spend some time in nature.
• Journal
• Do art. It doesn’t matter if you color or paint or how it looks. If it soothes your anxiety, enjoy it.
• Do crafts if that calms you down or is fun for you.
• Social support
• Self-care
• Find balance between what gives you anxiety and what makes you calm or happy. For me, writing is what calms me down. I do my best to write regularly to balance out with my anxiety. I need to do this for me.
• Give yourself permission to do what you need to do to improve your anxiety.
• Work your stress management techniques like it is required daily self-therapy. If you have anxiety, you need to check out my stress management blog here.
• Grow your self-confidence.
• Build your self-efficacy.
• Love yourself through it.
• If you are doing these things and working the stress management techniques, but you’re still overwhelmed to the point that you can’t function…. Seek help. Go to a counselor. Go on medication if you need to. There’s no shame in treating your condition. Life has more for you than to spend your days suffering in anxiety. You’re worth helping.

 
You can have anxiety and still be an awesome person. This is part of you. It’s not all of you. There is more to you than your struggle. You may be broken, but you’re still beautiful.