Marriage was not meant to be regulated by the government. To me as a Christian it is a religious institution created by God. To others it may mean something else. I've always thought it was so stupid that if I ever get married I have to go down to city hall and pay to get a piece of paper for the government to give permission for or be willing to acknowledge that God unites us as husband and wife. I also personally feel I would not be married in God's eyes if the ceremony is done by anyone other than a man of God. If I got married by a judge or justice of the peace instead of a Christian minister, I would feel like I wasn't married. To me marriage is religious. It happens to be something the government profits off of. When I think about getting married I think about being united by God to a life partner. Now if I wanted to change my last name (which I do!) that is a legal matter. I know there are concerns over insurances, social security, or even basic paperwork, etc.. without marriage legally uniting a couple. I think that could be worked out. Marriage is a voluntary union. It's not something there needs to be laws about. Nobody is making laws about who can co-habitate or procreate. You don’t have to get a license from the county to make somebody your baby daddy even though that unites you for life with that man. Why should you have to get a license to make him your husband? We can set our own standards for ourselves as to what we would do. That means without government regulation anybody can call themselves married: one man and one woman, two men, two women, one man and 5 wives, relatives, groups, etc... Don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying anything goes. Where you stand with the government and where you stand with God are two different things. The bible is quite clear that homosexuality is a sin. As a Christian I cannot give my support or vote to anything that goes against my religious beliefs. At the same time not everyone is Christian. Not everyone who is Christian acknowledges the bible verses they don't like. We also have separation of church and state. It is not my place to tell someone else what they can and can't do (provided they are not causing harm to someone such as murder or property damage) because of how I choose to live. That is why I have never taken a public stand on gay marriage. Do I think it's a sin? Yes. Will I treat you with the same respect I treat straight people? Of course. Should gay couples be allowed to get married? Yes and no. Yes, they should be legally allowed to be a couple because they already are a couple and my beliefs shouldn’t get to stop their relationship with each other. No, they should not be allowed to force anyone to marry them. If they want to marry, they should do so with a minister who is willing to perform the ceremony. They should never have the legal right to make pastors marry them or force anyone to go against their beliefs to cater to them. That is equality to straight couples. You don’t get to force a bakery or photographer to do what they don’t want to do. When people talk about marriage being a Christian union created by God they always point out gay unions because homosexuality is a sin. When I think about going against God’s standards for marriage that is not all I think about. People say God created marriage to be between one man and one woman. That is very true. However, Christians aren’t the only ones who get married. Straight couples that are atheist or Muslim or whatever get married. One man and one woman couples get married and commit adultery all the time. Adultery is very, very common. It is very much a sin. Cheating on someone you vowed to be loyal to is the ultimate betrayal. Couples get divorced when the bible says it’s a sin. People get divorced and remarried when the bible says that is adultery. Yet the church is often silent on those matters. Very rarely do you hear a preacher who has the balls to say divorce is a sin except for cases of marital unfaithfulness. That is what the bible says, but so many in the church are divorced. My point is my standards of marriage are rooted in my Christian faith and my individuality. Should the law forbid divorce unless biblically justified? Should straight, divorced couples be prohibited from getting remarried? What I’m trying to say is I can tell you my standards for marriage, but I can’t stop somebody else from sinning in their relationships. Even if they met the same basics as me: one man plus one woman, never divorced, both Christians, married in the church – that doesn’t mean they won’t cheat or divorce. I don’t think Jesus wants other people to be forced to not sin. I think he would prefer someone refuse sin because their hearts desire to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. Tell people about Jesus our savior. If they are interested, then we can teach sin from righteousness. Let people choose for themselves what they will do at their own pace in their own journey with Jesus. As I said before with gay marriage I cannot morally approve of homosexual relations because it goes against my religious convictions. That being said I can’t stop someone from having homosexual relations if that is what they want to do. They can label it whatever they want. If they want to call it marriage, it would be different than the kind of marriage I would have just as my marriage would be very different from an ungodly open marriage between a straight couple. Honestly, if I wasn’t Christian I would have no opposition to homosexuality or polygamy. It’s their life. They are going to do what they want to do. That doesn’t make something right. Neither does a marriage certificate given by a state.
I really don’t see any reason marriage needs to be a matter of law. It is a personal relationship. Making laws about it isn’t preventing people from committing any crime like laws against theft. It doesn’t ensure safety like traffic laws do. It really does absolutely nothing except offer something the government can make money off of. You have to pay your county for a marriage license. You have to pay for paperwork. You have to pay if you want to get divorced. They tax married couples differently. It’s about money. That’s all. My best friend Ashley is like a sister to me. She is family. I intend to have her in my life forever. We call each other sisters. Can you imagine if we had to go down to City Hall and pay $40 to call each other sisters? This is our relationship. Why put laws on it to restrict or regulate personal relationships? If we wanted to have a “ceremony” with our family and friends to officially declare ourselves committed to each other, that is not the government’s business. We don’t need their permission with a license or their approval with legal recognition. Now that I think about it that’s a good excuse to get together, eat good food, and get our Pinterest crafts on lol. So what if we wanted to do that? Should it be a legal matter? If I wanted to get married in my church and my pastor was willing to do the ceremony, why do I need a license for that? When I marry a man it will be a ceremony of God bringing us in union as husband and wife. The government has no rightful authority over that. Their permission or acknowledgment is irrelevant given what marriage means to me. God doesn’t need a license from city hall to do his thing. What next? Will you have to get a license to get baptized? Marriage really shouldn’t be a legal matter at all. The government has no authority over how people define their personal relationships and commitment to each other. It’s time the law stopped regulating marriage altogether.
I feel that this solution works for both sides. If you are Christian and straight and you feel God made marriage to be between one man and one woman, then you can still have that. It is God that makes you husband and wife, not the county. If you are gay and want to make your commitment formal, you can do that. If you want to be a man with 3 wives, I suppose y’all can go ahead. The government no longer regulating marriage isn’t going to change what marriage is. What marriage is to me will still be exactly the same. What marriage is to other people is still going to be their definition of marriage. My religious beliefs and practices would be the same. Their lifestyles would be the same. Let peoples’ relationships be labeled what they want to call it. The commitment between people is their own. There doesn’t need to be any laws about what is in somebody’s heart.
I’m sure the internet trolls will soon be commenting denying what the bible says about homosexuality, divorce, etc… so I’ll just go ahead and list verses to reference on these subjects. Keep in mind anytime we are talking about sin there is the opportunity for repentance and forgiveness. Just because you have done these things in the past doesn’t mean you are damned. If you are committing these sins now, you can renounce these sins and change your ways.
Couples should be one man and one woman – Genesis 2:22-24, Matthew 19:5-6, Mark 10:6-9
Old Testament: Genesis 18:16-19:28, Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13
New Testament: Romans 1:21-32, 1 Corinthians 5:9-11, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:16-21, Ephesians 5:3-5, 1 Timothy 1:7-10, Jude verse 7
Adultery – There are way too many verses on adultery to list, but I will list a few. I don’t think there are many who deny adultery is a sin. Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:16-21, Hebrews 13:4
Divorce – Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:3-12, Mark 10:1-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:2-3, 1 Corinthians ch. 7
Remarriage being adultery unless their spouse has died – Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18
Polygamy – We see polygamy throughout the Old Testament. It is never forbidden or regarded as sinful. In the New Testament polygamy is not mentioned. It does say for pastors and deacons to be the husband of only one wife. There is nothing in the bible that says polygamy is a sin. Just because there isn’t a “thou shall not” does not mean “thou shall”. The bible doesn’t say not to do it. It also doesn’t say go for it or that it’s okay. I’m not even going to get into whether or not God views polygamy as acceptable in this blog. That is a blog for another day.
Marriage in general – Deuteronomy 24:5, Song of Songs, Matthew 19:4-6, Matthew 22:23-30 (same as Mark 12:18-25 and Luke 20:27-35), 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, Hebrews 13:4
About wives – Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 19:13, 19:14, 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15-16, and 31:10-31.
Instructions for wives – Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Timothy 5:14, Titus 2:1-8, 1 Peter 3:1-7
About wives submitting to their husbands – Genesis 2:18, Genesis 3:16, 1 Corinthians 11:3-16, Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, Titus 2:1-8, 1Peter 3:1-7
Instructions for husbands – Ecclesiastes 9:9, Ephesians 5:22-33, Titus 2:1-8, 1Peter 3:1-7
About ministers and their marriages – 1 Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:5-9